It has almost been one year since my breast implant explant. I’ve recently been doing a lot of reflecting on the past two years of my life, and thought I’d share a little bit here.

For those of you that don’t know me, I got my saline implants in 2003. Like most everyone else who gets them, I was tired of being flat-chested, tired of being jealous of other girls’ naturally large breasts, tired of figuring out how to wear dresses, bikinis, and strapless tops without tons of padding, and tired of feeling like I couldn’t get a date because my breasts were so small. I was never interested in showing off my implants, or becoming something I wasn’t, I just wanted to be proportionate.

Unfortunately, even after the augmentation, I still felt like things weren’t “right.” I could never put my finger on it because I wanted to keep those things so dang much! But looking back on it today, I realize that it wasn’t “right” because the reality of it was that I had placed two large foreign objects in my chest that did not belong. Though, I liked being able to fill out bikinis, strapless dresses, pretty lace bras, etc., there were too many other things I didn’t like.

For one thing, without clothes on my breasts did not look natural, they were two very round, grapefruit-like balls on my chest. Natural breasts have a feminine shape, mine no longer did. I also had problems with rippling, because I did not have a lot of breast tissue to begin with, I had ripples on the bottom and sides and of my breasts when I bent over….not very pretty. It was also difficult meeting new people; I knew they wondered “are they real?” Most would guess they were not because they did not fit my body, they didn’t move like natural breasts, they were too round, too high on my chest, etc. I never knew what to say “oh by the way, no they aren’t real.” Each time I’d go to the pool or other times I needed to wear a bikini, I was always self-conscious. People would stare at me and I could see it in their eyes…… “nice fake boobs.” My new boobs were supposed to give me self-confidence, and in reality….they were doing the opposite! However, I was willing to overlook all of that because like I said, I wanted to keep them.

Then in March of 2007, I woke up one morning and my left implant had ruptured. Within a week, I began feeling ill. I did not associate the illness with the rupture at the time; I mean…they are just saline, right? I had the implant replaced and hoped to get on with my life. However, the breast never quite felt right after that…I had ongoing pain that did not go away, and it felt like my implant was made of sandpaper inside my chest wall…not very comfortable. My unexplained illness continued to worsen to the point of almost having to quit my job. I had excruciating pain on the left side of my body, horrible fatigue and brain fog, extreme sensitivity, dizziness, hair loss, nerve pain, a chronic cough, terrible body aches, EXTREME swollen lymph nodes, etc. I lived like this for 8 months, going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what was wrong; I had every test done known to man. I was later referred to a specialist where I found out that it was the implant that had ruptured that was causing me these problems. My body tested for extreme amounts of 4 toxic chemicals. I had nearly 100 times more of these chemicals in my body then the average woman, my age, living in my population. The only explanation the doctors could come up was the implant rupture. I later found out that the implants which I thought were made of salt water are actually encased in a silicone shell, the same toxic ingredients that are in regular silicone implants.

To be honest, I still wasn’t ready to have the implants taken out for good. I began my research of trying to find others like me. After some digging, I was amazed, stunned and shocked at what I found. There were so many stories out there of women who had come down with similar symptoms as mine, have implants (both saline and silicone,) whose health either returned after explantation or significantly improved. There were just too many for me to call it a coincidence.

Should I have known all of this before getting implants? Should I have known that there were sick women? Probably. But as a lot of women can deeply understand and attest to, when you have gone your life having small breasts, you will do just about anything to enlarge them. Reading about all the problems and issues out there just isn’t an option, because then you might talk yourself out of it, and that REALLY isn’t an option. You tend to look for the success stories and that is what you focus on. Plus, it is a lot more difficult to find issues with implants then it is to find information on all the wonderful things they will do for your self esteem, body image, etc. Who has the money for advertising……sick women or implant manufacturers and plastic surgeons? I decided then that the implants must come out for good. I wasn’t willing to take the chance of leaving them in my body and risking another rupture. I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life and had them removed on November 9, 2007.

Please stay tuned, as I will write about my road to recovery and where I am today on my official ONE YEAR anniversary explant date!