Krista and Beth took on “Beauty at any Cost,” a report from the YWCA that relays some very interesting and somewhat saddening news about girls, young women and what they go through to live up to beauty standards. Read the report (it’s not long, and trust us, you want to!) and then read on for our feedback and our personal stories about body image and the society we live in.

Krista:

None of these statistics surprise me. I always try and tell myself that “things aren’t that bad,” but the harsh reality is that they are. When I was growing up girls were very competitive with each other. I remember “the mean girls” vividly. I never understood what made them “tick” and caused them to behave in the ways they did… making fun of other girls because of their own inner insecurities. Yeah, I was insecure too, but instead of turning my anger from insecurity onto other girls, I internalized a lot of it.

Growing up I was painfully thin, flat chested, bow-legged…not exactly the “ideal” body by any stretch of the imagination. I remember watching TV shows, looking at magazines and catalogs and wanting my body to be like the girl I was looking at. The boys that I went to school with did not help at all with the girls’ insecurities. I remember the boys grabbing at our sexual parts as early as 6th grade! Things only worsened after that. I remember in high school the boys would compete to see who could get the girlfriend with the biggest boobs. It didn’t even matter to them if you were a nice person, only that you had the “right look.” The girls with the large boobs of course ate into this and would wear very inappropriate clothing to school.

Over 10 years after my high school graduation and I can only imagine how bad things have become. I watch the 13, 14 and 15 year old girls getting their hair highlighted, their nails done, begging their parents for $500 designer purses and expensive name brand clothing. If I would have asked for anything like that at that age, my parents would have laughed! But today, those things have become the “norm” with teenagers. My niece who is 14 years old insists on having the “expensive salon hair products,” no longer is the run of the mill hair product good enough! So, what is causing our teenagers to insist on such extravagant things in order to compete with each other?  There is a number of factors that play into this…the media, the advertising, the plastic surgeons, the music, the young Hollywood stars, and of course the parents for allowing this!

Parents are feeding into this problem with buying these products for their children. They think they are helping their daughters to fit in, but in reality they are only harming their children by giving them things a teenager should never have.  The problem is worsening as these teenagers are graduating from high school and insisting on unnecessary, risky and costly plastic surgery procedures. And parents are paying for them!

In the long run, we are only harming our children by giving them unrealistic things. Younger and younger girls are starting to wear makeup, use cosmetics and other beauty products. One thing that no one really talks about much is that these products harm a woman’s sensitive internal workings. Everyone seems to think that all of these products are “perfectly safe,” when in reality they are causing a higher risk of breast cancer (and other cancers,) causing our hormones to malfunction, our livers to shut down, our bodies to go into chronic fatigue mode, causing severe allergies, fertility issues, etc.  Add that to the growing number of girls who are smoking to stay thin, eating unhealthy diets and severely processed foods, implanting foreign objects in their bodies, and you have a very sad state of affairs with the health of our young girls.

In my opinion, we are creating entire new generations of “mean girls.” We are creating unhealthy young bodies, unrealistic expectations of life and unhealthy interpersonal relationships by forcing our girls to compete with each other.

It starts with the parents… are they feeding into what the media, the advertising, the plastic surgeons, the retailers, etc. are telling them they MUST have, and MUST look like? Or can the parents accept, love and be okay with themselves so that their children can be as well?

Beth:

This is a lengthy article and a very good one!  I can comment on certain parts of it.  First of all, I would like to comment on the anorexic look as I’ve had that all my life and hated it.  Was teased to the point that I couldn’t handle it in school by all and hated being so thin.  Things have changed very much since I was a kid.  Thin was not really in so this is something that I have never found attractive.  I think that the body of say Mariah Carey is sexy, although I believe she has implants, I’m only referring to her having some meat on her bones!!!!!  These thin models are just too sick looking for me.  Although at one time, I was that thin without wanting to be!

As for the pressure to have cosmetic surgery.  I do see that and feel it.  I think that women should be educated on the dangers.  When I was implanted 12 years ago, I was not told of the dangers.  These devices would last a lifetime, so I was told.  What I don’t understand is that with all the information now available on the internet, why are these women still going through these procedures?  Does their life really mean so little to them?  Why the hell would you inject yourself with Botox?  This is poison and has to be processed by the liver.  Everyone knows that so why the hell do it?  All because of a few wrinkles???

I know that Dove is running a campaign to educate young children and teach them self-esteem.  This is something I never had.  I would have benefited greatly to something like this. I also know that I would have not had implants if I would have been able to do what I really wanted in life… that was modeling.  I really don’t see many models with breast implants.  Only the lingerie and bathing suit models have implants.  You rarely see them on the runways of Milan. Thin is in now and it is not very attractive to me.  These women starve themselves and if you have to do that to be that thin, then something is terribly wrong. I think that the designers should be hiring women that have a bit of meat on their bones.

The other problem I see is that no one seems to be trying to educate the parents of young children on the dangers of implants. My biggest role model was my Mother as it is for many children. I know that if she knew the dangers, she would have talked me out of it.  Maybe I wasn’t the average kid but my Mother had a huge impact on what I did with my life. I’d like to think that most children are like that so why the hell aren’t we concentrating on educating parents on the dangers?  I realize that a lot of parents have implants but from the stories that I’ve read on my forum, I know for a fact that these women did not know the dangers when they were implanted. This really needs to change.

The other comment I’d like to make is that the workplace is all about how you look. The more attractive you are, the further you will succeed in your career. I hate to say this but it really is true. I’m not talking about big breasts or anything like that. Although I know that this is a factor depending on what you do. It would have impacted my career in a bad way so that is why I hid my breasts as best I could.

I had a friend that was very heavy. She really climbed the ladder and is still working for the same company. She has no other choice as she knows that she will never be hired by another company. She is at least 150 pounds overweight. Does this mean she isn’t as smart as a thin person? Absolutely not!!!  This is our society. The attractive people have an advantage over those that aren’t so attractive. Very sad but true. I suppose this is why people are willing to risk their lives in order to try and measure up. It is very sad indeed. I got a taste of that when I gained 100 pounds after becoming ill from my saline breast implants. Yes, in case you don’t know, this is one of the complications that you can encounter. I noticed a huge difference in the way people treated me. I vowed never to treat a heavy person the way that I was treated. I was absolutely amazed at how people would treat me wherever I went. In stores, I couldn’t get anyone to help me as opposed to having several people willing to help me before I gained all that weight. So I really got a taste of what it is like to walk through this world being overweight. It is very difficult and it made me very angry and depressed. I’m happy to say that I’ve lost all that weight and now I’m a very ‘healthy’ weight.

Our society needs to change and I just don’t see that happening anytime soon.

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So what do all of you think? Share your stories with us!

Coverage around the Web:

Plastic Surgery Practice, YWCA Me-Too Report Fails to Illuminate

Empowering Perspectives, Beauty at any Cost

Health Populi, The cost of beauty, an American obsession

In Your Face, YWCA hits cosmetic medicine, American ‘obsession’ with beauty

Pretty Tough, Beauty at any Cost