Breast Implants and Suicide - My Personal Experience
I’m getting very tired of reading blogs, like the ones here and here and articles regarding women with breast implants are more likely to commit suicide. These articles are basically saying that the women that commit suicide would have done it anyway whether they had implants or not. This ‘research’, that has been done, claims that it has shown the link between the two. Yes, there is a link but it is because implants cause chronic illnesses and financial loss and also some women realize that their implants have made their children sick as well.
So, I must ask you to place yourself in the shoes of a women with a chronic illness. This woman is searching for answers as to why one day she was perfectly healthy and the next she couldn’t get out of bed and was diagnosed with a load of diseases and disorders some of which she never heard of. Then when you think that things can’t get worse, you lose your job, your home, your car, EVERYTHING.
How would most people react to that happening in their life? No not all would commit suicide but many probably would. We already know that chronic illness and depression goes hand in hand. We also know that most people that suffer from depression, ’self medicate’ themselves with alcohol. This is a known fact.
I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was in my 20’s and its not something that I like to talk about but one doctor I was seeing asked me an interesting question that really made me stop and think. He asked me if I would ever consider suicide?? This was before implants mind you, my answer surprised me as I never even though of something so terrible as suicide. My answer to him was that NO, absolutely not. I can’t imagine doing anything like that as I’m too much of a coward. Killing yourself takes an awful lot of courage and that is something I don’t have. I remember the look he gave me, kind of shocked, stunned and speechless. He paused for a while and simply said, ‘Well, lets hope you continue to be a coward’. I always remembered that conversation between me and my psychiatrist. Every time I heard that someone took their own life, I would always be in disbelief and thought, how could things ever get that bad?
Well, I learned that things can get that bad. I’m not psychotic or crazy or nuts or any of the other terms that people are called that suffer from depression. I became very ill from my saline filled silicone implants. So ill, I lost everything I owned. The material things weren’t as hard as losing my job as I absolutely loved what I did. It was my entire life and I woke up every morning thankful that I was getting paid to do something that I absolutely loved to do. Yes, I was very lucky!
So imagine becoming so ill that you can’t work, you’ve lost your love so to speak. You are sick and lose interest in everything because you can barely keep your eyes open. You are in pain and no one can give you any answers to why you have become so ill. The toxins are affecting every part of your body which makes the depression worse and you are watching your life pass you by. I don’t think this is something that any human being can endure without at least thinking about suicide.
If this research were true, about 70% or more of the population would be taking their lives. Antidepressants are one of the most widely prescribed drugs out there! So this research to me is completely bogus. I know as I lived through it!
I had my explant in November of 2004, a month after trying to take my own life. On the way to the hospital, all I thought was that I hope I never wake up from this surgery. That was the toxins affecting me because as soon as those damn things were removed, I started to feel better. Yes, I still suffer from depression. Many people do but it doesn’t mean they are going to go and kill themselves. I suffer from depression but now if someone ever asked me if I would consider suicide, my answer would be that I’m too much of a coward. Many say that committing suicide is the act of a coward but unless you have reached that low in your life, you would know that it really is just the opposite.
This is a hard topic for me and I’m not looking for sympathy because I’m very happy with my life and I feel like certain things happened to me for a reason. I feel fortunate once again. Maybe not lucky but give me a few more years!
Another prime example is the heart breaking story of P.J. Brent. The medical examiner said that P.J. Brent had such high levels of platinum in her body that she couldn’t have possibly been thinking clearly. Also, the implants she thought were safe, made two of her children very ill as well. I must ask you if this is something that you would be able to endure? How do you fight the effects of chemicals in your body without going crazy? Breast implants can make women feel like they are going crazy. I know as I’ve experienced it. I would be willing to bet if this woman never got implants, she would still be alive today. What person could endure such heart ache and physical pain???
Beth













Beth, thank you for sharing your personal experience with us, and thank you for being so dedicated to Beauty and the Breast. I love that you’re here and I’m glad that you are in the place you’re in now. We love you!
Comment by Katie — August 6, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
Thank you Katie, I’m very glad to be a part of this blog!
Comment by bethtaylor — August 6, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
AMEN. I feel the same way. I am a happy loving social person. I would have NEVER wanted to commit suicide.. but I screamed when I was sick “I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!”.. as i could barely see or think or walk. Thanks for posting this Beth. You took the words out my mouth.
Comment by gretchen — August 7, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
yes thank you alot for posting this beth…for sharing this….its so true! love you always!thank you for saving me!
Comment by kerry — August 10, 2008 @ 4:35 am
Beth,
Bless you for posting this. As I was reading I was wondering if someone had written parts of my recent past here. I too had a similar experience, but I became ill with an autoimmune illness pre surgery in 2002. Being a determined spirit, I kept pushing on with my career till it was becoming clear my body was giving out no matter how determined I was.
The implants were something I did while I was ill. How foolish could a girl be to do this while sick?? I suppose losing half of my hair and no longer able to work out I was feeling as if my femininity was leaving as well. No, I was not in my right mind. My body was fine. My perception of it was another story.
After the implant surgery and many traumas to follow I did in fact become totally disabled physically. The mental meltdown was right in the line up of a person falling apart every way a person can. I hemmoraged after my surgery which caused my right implant to rise nearly to my collar bone. The surgeon had left on vacation to Brazil and said I needed a week anyway before he could remove the hematoma and reposition the implant.
I remained in a state of shock while awaiting his return, not even able to look in the mirror. Twelve days later I was back on the table so he could repair me. This time I was drugged but awake. I remember thinking that I should ask him to remove the implants but I was so much larger than the petite B pre-surgery. Yes, that too was an issue. He increased the size I wanted at his own discretion.
One week after the second surgery I was hospitalized with an agonizing blood clot for a week. No, ny NYC doctor never even came to Long Island to see me.
Three years have passed and my life has never been the same. I did lose my home, my career and my self esteem due to the disfigurement. I almost lost my life at my own hand. Yes, I gave up and took a bottle of Xanax just wanting this all to be over. Something inside me, Divine intervention actually, made me call my family as the effects of the pills were taking a strong hold. I wanted to live in spite of my illness and the body I could no longer look at.
I saw the surgeon in follow up with continued complaints about a ripping feeling that never went away. He ignored my concerns.
My last visit to him was this past January. Trust me, he will not post my pictures on his web site yet he claims all is fine.
When I asked what could be done to correct the mistakes he said ten thousand dollars. Very compassionate surgeon? That was more than I paid for the initial surgery. Had I the money I would seek out the best surgeon I could find to remove these horrors. Social Security is hardly enough to live on as a single woman, so corrective surgery is not in the near future.
I urge anyone even entertaining the idea of implants to go deep within themselves and truly rethink their decision.
God bless.
Comment by Georgia — August 11, 2008 @ 4:36 pm
Georgia,
Thank you for sharing your story. Some PS’s can be so cold. It’s always all about the money isn’t it? I often wonder how they can lay down and go to sleep at night.
I believe in karma though. All these doctors that have hurt us will have their day.
I do hope that somehow you can find help to have those implants removed. I do know what its like to live on SSDisability. It’s very difficult.
Comment by bethtaylor — August 11, 2008 @ 11:07 pm