As a teenager and college student I found myself constantly criticizing the way I looked. People would make comments to me on a regular basis “oh, you are so cute, you have the cutest little body.” While I would politely accept their compliment, inside I would be thinking “what are they saying….I am too skinny, I have no boobs, my nose is too big, etc. etc. etc.” I remember flipping through the pages of my Victoria’s Secret catalogs constantly, each flip of the page would make me more depressed as I realized I did not have the breasts to fill out one of their cute little bikinis, or one of their fancy lace bras. You would think I would have just given up on the Victoria’s Secret catalog since it would just make me feel inferior, but I couldn’t stop.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I turned each page of that catalog, I was setting myself up for disaster. I was constantly comparing myself to standards I could never live up to, and I was constantly criticizing my body because it did not look exactly like the ones in the catalog. I would agonize regularly over these thoughts and think that one day I’d “go under the knife” to try and live up to these standards.

As I got older I realized that most all women are notorious for self-criticism relating to their bodies. How many times have you caught yourself saying something like “I’m too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too flat, too big, too ….” Or heard one of your girlfriends say the same thing? Many times we don’t even realize we’re cutting ourselves down because it’s become habit, as automatic as brushing our teeth or washing our hands. I believe the problem isn’t with the way we look, but the way we THINK we should look.

So, how do we learn to accept and love ourselves in spite of what the media and the fashion catalogs are telling us is beautiful? Well, perhaps if we addressed our own insecurities, empowering ourselves and strengthening our character and self-esteem, we wouldn’t be so overly concerned with looking like someone else’s idea of what is beautiful, and so obsessed with changing our physical appearance to live up to this ideal. Maybe we need to learn that self-confidence is not looking just like the girl in the magazine, but instead it is liking and loving our individual uniqueness. It’s accepting the wonderful miracle that there is not one body that is exactly like ours. When a woman can recognize this and celebrate the beauty and awe of her individuality, she radiates confidence…something far more beautiful than any manufactured plastic body part could ever provide.

While it’s easier said than done, women NEED to be able to accept the fact that there is beauty in the variety of body types with which we are born (tall, short, petite, busty, barely-breasted, big-hipped, wide, skinny, dark, light, etc….). ONLY when we realize that our culture and the media (both subtly and blatantly) are creating a ridiculous mold (skinny with big breasts) & deciding FOR US what we should…for no good reason…aspire to be, will we embrace the reasons to “move on”!

Self-esteem and empowerment must be based on an understanding that we don’t have to fall for the idea that a certain body or breast size is more beautiful. Otherwise we might offer a great ‘pacifier’ that doesn’t truly address the heart of the issue. As so many women are seeking plastic surgery as a means to acquire more self-confidence, it may be time to find out why we think we need plastic surgery. Could plastic surgery be therapy with a knife? Could the media be “brainwashing” us into thinking we need to look a certain way to be accepted?

When women give into the “brainwashing”, we perpetuate a cycle that’s not only harmful to ourselves, but to future generations as well. Do we really want our daughters hatefully obsessing over their bodies and going under the knife? Or do we want them to love themselves unconditionally, accepting their uniqueness with admiration and pride? Currently we are surrounded by unnaturally big-breasted, skinny women; this is setting a new ideal…creating a “false standard”. Young women everywhere are looking around and seeing themselves as sub-standard…Do we want to be part of the problem? Let’s teach our children to understand that beauty has many faces…many colors…and begins within. Let’s develop beautiful hearts and minds. Let’s explore and develop our talents. Not to neglect the physical….We should take care to ‘look’ our best….But why should we ‘buy’ (at a mighty high price) someone else’s ideal for a beautiful body? After all, what is plastic surgery but the ultimate self-criticism…….the ultimate in criticizing both our children’s and our own parents’ DNA.