When I made the decision to get breast implants, I thought it was a personal one. I thought it was a choice I could make on my own because I was the only person the surgery would affect. I could never have known that the decision I made at 19, would negatively impact the life of my mother, my father, and all of my siblings, friends, and future husband. Who would have thought???

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and it started me thinking about everything that my mom has done for me over the years. When I was a baby and couldn’t take care of myself, she was there. Slowly she taught me how to care for myself and others, and helped me to pursue my dreams. When it was time for college, I thought I had reached a new place in my relationship with my mother. The old times of her taking care of my physical needs had completely passed and I was to be independent from now on. The next time someone would need help physcially should have been my mother, when she’s around 80. Imagine my complete shock when just 2 years after leaving home, I was back and needing more physical help than I ever could have dreamed possible.

My mom was against the idea of my getting breast implants. She thought it was rediculous and completely out of character for me, but I was 19, and she knew I would make my own decision. After a few months of getting my implants, I started experiencing sharp pains in my arms that would come and go. I mentioned this to my mother, and she immediately thought the implants could be to blame. I remember getting angry that she would even consider it because I knew it couldn’t be possible. I had the procedure done by an excellent plastic surgeon and I was naive enough to think that nothing bad could happen because the FDA gave the saline breast implants their stamp of approval. 100% safe, at least in my mind anyway.

Slowly I began seeing things her way. Symptom after new symptom appeared. Doctor after doctor told us that implants were safe, and they would try their hand at a pill or something else they thought was sure to stop my joint pain. Nothing helped and I got to the point where my joints, bones, and muscles were on fire and I could barely get out of bed.

Thankfully, I graduated college, as it was a life-long dream of mine, and with a diploma, I knew I could die happy. And that’s just what I saw in my future…nothing….I didn’t think I’d make it long enough to have one. My mom stayed by my side the entire time, making sure I had bites of food small enough to try and chew, rubbing “old people” lotion all over my muscles and joints so I could get up and take a shower, and talking with me because that’s about all I was still capable of at the time. I wouldn’t leave the house for weeks because it hurt too badly to walk. Today I was thinking about the times when I did have a little energy to spare and I would ask to tag along when my mom needed to go grocery shopping. You wouldn’t think this is much, but it took me so long to walk a step or two, I know I slowed her down immensely. She never talked about what an inconvenience my bi-weekly or more doctors appointments were, or that she had 7 other children (all younger than myself) that needed her. What’s even more, she never made me feel bad about choosing to get the breast implants that she didn’t want for me, and that ended up almost killing me and making me such an extra burden on my family.  My mom wished someone would have told us of the dangers of breast implants, and so she encouraged me when I was given the opportunity to share my story through an MTV documentary.  She accompanied me on many flights to New York and took care of me so that I could share my story with the world.  Without her, I would not have been able to do any of this.

 After having my implants removed, I started feeling better immediately.  My joint and muscle pain lessened about 40% just with the explant surgery alone!  I started trying things that would get tiny remnants of silicone out of my body (the shell from the implants) and slowly got better.  I finally found a rheumatologist that was human, and she talked me through Rheumatoid Arthritis and found the right drugs to stop my joint damage (at the time I could not move one of my arms to my head, I could barely walk because of foot pain, etc.).  And now 4 years after having my implants removed and giving myself injections and chemo once a week, my RA is officially in remission.  This means that my blood tests are perfectly normal and that my body is not currently attacking itself and causing inflammation.  I was so excited to call my mom and tell her the good news a few weeks ago.  I tell her how much better I feel, but now she can see concrete proof that I’ll be okay.

 So you see, breast implants ended up affecting my life and the life of everyone that loved me, then and in the years to come.  I never thought I’d end up with Rheumatoid Arthritis, a disease that is always with you and can rear it’s ugly head at any time.  I have permanent joint damage as the disease hit me so quickly and help didn’t arrive in time.  I never thought I’d have to move back in with my parents or become disabled at the age of 20.  I never thought that my entire life might be focused around getting and keeping medical insurance so I can pay for the very medicines that may end up giving me horrible side effects in the future.  I was 19 and I just decided to get breast implants.  

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  Thanks for hanging in there.

 ~Kacey