In December 1984, a search for healing strategies would have been the furthest thing from my mind. I was very fit, rarely ill, and could easily leap seven steps in a single bound. My life was busy with raising very active kids while managing a real estate career. But in December of that year, I became one of the millions of women to go down a silent path, which was to change things for me for some time to come. It came with the decision to be augmented with silicone breast implants.

After the augmentation, I enjoyed a few years of continued health and had no regrets for the decision I had made. But, increasingly, I began to suffer from excruciating headaches, as well as from gait problems and involuntary head tremors. By late 1988, I was seeking medical assistance for my health. Eventually, I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem, a heart arrhythmia, and other disorders. I was no longer a well person. Treatment continued on for the next few years, during which at no time did my medical professionals suggest that it could be my implants causing my problems.

I believe it was 1992 when I first read a magazine article about the health issues associated with silicone breast implants. Imagine my horror when I saw listed nearly all of my own symptoms and illnesses. Not long thereafter, I became one of the 440,000 women who joined the massive class action suit against the breast implant manufacturers.

My health continued to spiral downward, with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia being the most devastating to cope with. It wasn’t only physically difficult – my ill health had devastating financial consequences as well. The crucial moment came in April of 1997, when ill health, finances and a poor quality of life all collided to create a perfect storm. I woke that morning and literally screamed out loud, “Myrl, do you want to live, or do you want to die?”

I chose LIFE. It was a conscious decision that I knew would require a very real plan and some hard work to achieve. But, knowing that I had made the decision also gave me some form of minute energy to work with.

I tapped this new energy long enough to get myself cleaned up and drive the few miles to the temporary hiring agency, Kelly Services. I would not commit to a permanent hiring agency, because I honestly was concerned I might not be able to handle a permanent job. I didn’t really know if I could handle a temporary one either, but I was going to try.

Kelly Services soon dispatched me to a wonderful international software development company, where I stepped foot in the door as the receptionist. The work environment was extremely pleasant, in the rotunda of a state of the art building that had won several architectural awards, and was known as the company’s research and development center. I was hired permanently after just five weeks. I was to be there for eight and a half years. I had difficult days with pain in the early months, but managed to work my way through it. And interestingly, the movement provided by the work environment worked better than being in bed.

The next step I took was to try to restore some health. I did this by dramatically changing my diet, making conscious decisions to eat only food that would benefit me rather than further deplete me. Immediately leaving my refrigerator was soda pop. I purchased a juicer instead. I am blessed with a really superb farmer’s market that congregates each Saturday morning in the parking lot of a local shopping center. I buy nearly all of my fresh vegetables, fruits, breads, eggs, cheese and olive oil from the market. Because my company had employees from all over the world, I became interested in international recipes and cooking. I focus mainly on the more exotic dishes, which are also somewhat healthy as well.

It would be a number of months more before I could pursue a meaningful exercise program. In those early days, I felt a sense of accomplishment by just making it to work each day.

Approximately seven months after beginning the job, I underwent the explantation of my silicone implants. I had been concerned that I might spiral downward, as some implanted women do post-explantation. But I was lucky and only had some minor recovery issues.

What I have learned from my journey back to wellness is that it is a process. It is best to not dwell on the goal, but to embrace the journey. There is so much learning and growth to be had from the process.

On one really overcast day in mid December 1998, my company gifted me and several other women employees with one day of pleasure. It considerably changed my life.

I started that day with a persistent and difficult headache. My body was in pain. We were to board a bus at the company to be taken to a surprise destination for a day of fun. I was fighting to get myself together to make this trip, and because of my pain, I wasn’t feeling very enthusiastic. But I managed to make my way to bus and board with the rest of the group. Within a couple of hours, we arrived at a wonderful place called The Claremont in Berkeley, California.

Linda Prout, the Claremont’s fitness guru, was the day’s facilitator. As soon as we arrived, she had us to place our chairs in a large circle. Linda explained that many of us hold on to more tension than we realize, and that there was a technique for releasing that tension from our bodies. She prompted us to put feet on the floor, hands palm up in our laps, and instructed us to close our eyes. The next step had us rotating our shoulders in an upward and over motion. Linda explained that we were a nation of shallow breathers. She prompted over and over, “Breath deeply in, then deeply out.” At one point, she walked over to me, reached in her pocket and pulled out a little gauze pad, which had a few drops of Peppermint oil on it. She gently waved this in front of my face. Shortly thereafter, I noticed that my headache was beginning to disappear.

With our eyes still closed, she continued to prompt, “Starting at the top of your head… If it is tight, then loosen. If your forehead is tight, then loosen. If your eyes are tight, then loosen…” This same prompt was continued on down the body—the jaw, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, legs, knees, feet, etc. What I learned so quickly from that exercise was that I had no idea how much tension and pain I had been holding onto, which could be surrendered or consciously released or dismissed.

After lunch that day, Linda went on to discuss diet. And it has been the foundation upon which I have built from what I learned that day; I feel it has contributed greatly to my restoration of health. There were several truths I have made my own, which have served me well, one of which is: If I can’t gather it, fish it or hunt it, then I don’t eat it. There are exceptions to this of course, and I’m not without opening an occasional can of something to eat. But, I have significantly reduced the amount of processed foods that I consume.

I have also come to understand that it isn’t really wise to pop large mega-amounts of vitamins, minerals and wonder elixirs that are marketed as being some miraculous cure for women harmed by breast implants. After all, our bodies are often quite challenged from the chemicals in the toxic silicone gels, or “soups,” of the various implant models. This is especially true of women who experience implant ruptures. LESS is far more, when it comes to vitamin supplements. Personally, the only supplement I take is the dose of calcium recommended by my doctor. All other vitamins and minerals come from that trusted juicer on my counter top, and ALL those fruits and vegetables that I continue to bring home from the marketplace each week. I know what is in the produce and the quality. This isn’t always true when we purchase various pills and tablets from wherever.

About a year and a half ago, I semi-retired when there was a layoff at the software company. I say “semi-retired” because I continue to work as a realtor. My departure from the company allowed for further opportunity. For several years I had been using the company gym a bit, but my true love has always been swimming. I also find that swimming is so much easier on the joints than running on the treadmill and using some of the other machines. I joined a local health center, and began swimming laps and spending time “marinating” in the Jacuzzi. I am currently swimming approximately two miles, four to five times a week.

A few weeks back, I was swimming back and forth in that pool one night. It had turned a bit colder here in Sacramento, so the pool looked like something out of Dante’s Inferno, or maybe a witches and wizards convention in Yellowstone Park. The temperature of the air was much cooler than the 82-degree warmth of the water, and this was generating mists that swirled up about thirty feet. The only illumination came from below, from the underwater lights of the pools, and through the mists, it looked something like hell. The swimmers struggled back and forth in the lap pool, often two in each lane. They were barely visible and gave me the impression of tortured souls in purgatory, flitting about from one group of tortured souls to another in their section of the pool.

And there I was with them when a very defining realization hit me: I was not in pain. As I looked downward in the pool, as I stroked through the water, the illumination of the lights seemed to me a very bright and real light at the end of a tunnel. And, that is what my journey to wellness was all about!