According to Strategy Page, a military affairs website, the U.S. Department of Defense is cracking down on troops, especially female troops, who get plastic surgery without permission from their commanding officers. This permission rule has been around a long time, but was largely ignored until recently. Now, servicemen have more money in their pockets as the US has started paying more competitive wages (it IS an all-volunteer military service after all). Meanwhile, surgical procedures have become fire-sale cheap. The rising demand for cosmetic surgery has caused problems due to long recovery times, made worse by the fact that botched jobs are not unusual. Troops seem prone to getting their surgery from unqualified practitioners and then end up in military hospitals at government expense.

I can’t speak about other plastic surgery, but can there be a worse idea than a woman with implants sent into active service in a war zone? Riding around in jeeps on badly paved roads, dodging bullets and bombs, those implants stand a fair chance of rupturing. Furthermore, if they are “unsubtle,” they really have no business being in any part of the world where any hint of a woman’s body can inspire shameful thoughts in men and so must hidden away under a burqa. Big fake boobs are just not culturally sensitive.

And if they do rupture? What about complications like migration or capsular contracture? As it is, almost half of women with implants experience problems within the first three years of getting them. That’s with normal wear and tear. What are the statistics for women actively fighting a war? Who, then, would be responsible for the costs of treatment? You can bet it won’t be insurance companies, so tax payers?

But wait. There is one reason to allow implants in the military. Apparently, they can stop bullets.

TAGS: Iraq, burqa, Middle East, military