Everybody should have a Jimmy. What I mean is that everybody should have a man in her life who follows the model that Jimmy created when I had breast cancer, bi-lateral mastectomies and countless reconstructive surgeries.

Jimmy is an ob-gyn and knows more about medicine than most men caught in the breast cancer spiral. That knowledge can be a curse because it made Jimmy worry in advance of every step we took, and we took every step together:

When they came to take me to the operating room for the first mastectomy, Jimmy was in my hospital bed with me, holding me and keeping me warm. We were comforting each other and the hospital staff was shocked.

We cried together after the surgery was over. We had been married 19 years and I was 43 years old and felt as though my body had been ravaged. It was 1983 and modified radical mastectomies provided the best chance for recovery. Jimmy convinced me that it didn’t matter to him as long as I was well and we could continue our lives together. I knew it mattered to him but my being alive mattered to him more. He was angry with me that I chose to go back for operation after operation. Still, he changed my bandages on a daily basis after one of the reconstructive surgeries using implants left me with an open wound. He understood my changing moods and encouraged me to get support. I encouraged him to get support. We listened to each other and got outside help. We’ve now been married 46 years and are closer than we ever were.

I’ve been healthy in between many surgeries and another bout with cancer (kidney) three years ago. And through each of my medical problems, there was Jimmy, strong and loving and suffering along with me. He made me stronger because I wanted to match his steadfastness and courage. We’ve spent a good many years of our marriage with teary eyes as I had one medical crisis after another. But crying together makes laughing together that much more wonderful.

Our story underscores the importance, almost the urgency of understanding partners throughout the breast cancer/reconstructive process. Many men, like Jimmy, don’t want their wives/partners to undergo surgery after surgery. Once they understand the risks of implants, men will often oppose their wives/partners getting them because of the risk to his loved one’s health.

Perhaps you should read this article about Mommy Makeovers, and how they account for a huge and rising segment of the breast implant market. Mommy Makevoers! A mommy is someone’s wife, someone’s mother, the center of her family. If her spouse knew the risk of implants, how could he ever let her get them?

Yes, everybody should have a Jimmy. Oh how I wish that could be.

Please share the story of the man in your life and how he reacted to your implants and the surgery required to get them.